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Said one such man, "While I'm on the computer my wife just assumes I'm writing a report for work." Another man said his wife, who knew what he was doing and didn't like it, looked over his shoulder sometimes while he was typing, Mileham said.
Much of the Internet's appeal to married people is the anonymity it guarantees, coupled with the no-touching aspect, which they view as a license to be sexual, Mileham said.
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The UF study found an escalating quality to these online contacts.
Many reported that what started as innocent, friendly exchanges progressed quickly to strong desires for sexual relationships, she said.
"I felt like I've known her in another life." Mileham believes the time has come for the Internet to become as essential a part of pre-marital discussions as is whether or not to have children.
Research shows that more males than females use chat rooms, said Mileham, who found it difficult to get women to respond to her survey.
Females are usually bombarded with messages and can pick and choose which messages they respond to, she said.
Twenty-six of the 86 study participants went on to meet the person whom they had been engaged in an online relationship with, and of these, all but two ended up having a real-life affair.
One 66-year-old man ended up having 13 affairs this way, she said.